Do you remember?


200 mph sunset by Lady E

This song has been playing on my mind for the last few weeks, which is just another way of saying that I’ve been mildly obsessed with it, usually playing it loud several times in a row and dancing as I cook or hang laundry to dry, thus driving my children potty.

Payback time is what I say…

Anyway, it all started on Christmas Eve, when I accidentally joined a body-balance class at my mum’s gym.

As you do.

This song came on, we got into a peculiar sideway-stretchy-come-balancing pose, and I brutally realised that:

  • I enjoyed this body-balance lark
  • I did feel nostalgic for the time I spent with Mr Xmas, especially our holiday in Lanzarote a year ago
  • I wondered if he remembered the way it made him feel too
  • There was strictly no way of knowing, given that he’d gone into radio-silence again
  • Which was annoying
  • ย I’d better let it go since there was nothing I could do about it.

Which of course meant that I did not let it go. In fact, it intermintently bugged me for the rest of the holiday, in the way some really itchy mosquito bites might. Only in Winter.

Apart from that, my two-week Christmas breakย  was very nice, and very welcome, after finishing work with my tongue hanging out the previous weeks.

Paris on Christmas week was as gorgeous as ever, and the weather pretended it was Spring.

I spent that first week abdicating all parental responsibilities, as I studiously ignored the fact that my almost teenage son spent most of his waking hours glued to a screen of some description, or being obnoxious. Or both.

I read, slept, cooked, saw friends and relatives, and started feeling more human. Heaven. Super-Xmas-thank-you-awards go to my parents, brother, and brother’s partner who took care of most of the logistics, and put up with their hormone-and-screen-crazed grandson / nephew. If you are reading this (which is a disturbing thought), you really shouldn’t. Ha.

In contrast, new year’s week near Montpellier felt uncharacteristically like August in Liverpool: Very grey, very damp, but still pretty mild for Summer in Northern England.

I started out by picking up my daughter who had spent Christmas with her dad (note how four years ago this tore my heart out and only gave me a mild twinge this year: The wonder of time, healing and all that jazz…).

I spent more time cooking, playing the guitar and basically doing all the things I enjoy but never have time to do.

Which inevitably led to a major bout of not-wanting-to-go-back-to-work-and-single-motherhood last weekend.

Ho-hum, in the end, I did get back to work and single motherhood, since, rather disapointingly, I couldn’t magically fathom a better way to pay the bills or have a partner.

I have also stalled on taking any new year resolutions. So come on, inspire me, who’s got some good ones to suggest?



7 thoughts on “Do you remember?

  1. Looks like you made the most of your holiday. Getting back to the humdrum is always hard particularly with a monosyllabic teenager and a vocal 4 year old. Best wishes for 2016

  2. I am reading a biography of Louisa May Alcott (of ‘Little Women’ fame. One year her father (who was a teacher) wrote in his journal for his resolutions (1) meet men with great minds (2) start and run a new school (3) influence public opinion (4) self-improvement (5) write a book (6) have a good marriage (7) earn enough money. I don;t think I will even bother to try and match that list! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I had said I was going to journal more often as my resolution but my journal is currently out of my reach (aka I’d have to get out of bed to get it) so still no journaling tonight. No matter, I finally got around to reading your lovely blog post which always has me giggling a few times (like the part where you’re hoping you’re mom isn’t reading the blog!) and I smile when I see your blog name appear in my inbox. Happy new year doll!

  4. Feeling human is good. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Glad everything went pretty smoothly. I’m sorry nostalgia hit with your ex and that he’s off again. Dealing with his depressions and issues is tough for everyone around. But you do such a great job keeping it all together. You are a strong woman. It’s going to be a good year for you. I feel it!!

  5. Don’t know how I missed this post but, better late than never eh ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve pretty much given up on New Year’s resolutions myself, and the “magic” of the new year is largely lost on me but, funnily enough, I do enjoy the cold crisp feel of an English winter and the thought of being able to thaw out again once you return indoors. Being a single parent is hard, I can imagine, and I can be of no help to you in that regard, but there is always a cup of tea raised in your honour and a friendly smile given to you in this part of England ๐Ÿ™‚

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