The view from my office

View from my office

View from my office

Firstly, why did I ever think that cycling into work in a blizzard may even remotely be a good idea?

Secondly, night is falling now. And the roads will be even more slippery than this morning.

Thirdly, only a week left to go. In a week, this will no longer be the view from my office, because I will no longer be working here.

Just to add to the stress of wrapping-up a zillion projects before I leave, I have to take BIG job decisions. And frankly, I don’t like big decisions. They feel daunting, and definitive, and I would rather stick sharp things under my nails than decide.

Ok, so the reason decision time has come is because even though I have signed up for a terribly-paid but interesting fixed-term post somewhere, I am now being offered a slightly-better-paid but less interesting permanent position somewhere else. And that’s really just the executive summary of the problem, because there are many more ramifications such as being able to work part-time, how much time off  I can get to fit around the kids, development perspectives, the fact that if I go in one less-interesting direction, I will be closing the door on future, more interesting ones, and the all important issue of how good the canteen is.

So, hey, I know I am lucky to even have the luxury of choosing between two (well, actually it’s three, but the third one was a no-brainer) jobs, but guess what: I am scared. There’s been a lot of change in my life over the last five years, and I feel like hiding under the duvet pretending all this latest job changing lark isn’t really happening.

I know that I will eventually get over it, but right now, my eyes are watering, and I can feel a headache coming on.

At home, Mr Xmas, who has picked up the kids, showered my youngest and cooked dinner will be there, all deep-voiced and calm.

Think I’ll just catch the tram and bus home tonight…

Buena Vista Social Club – Dos Gardenias


9 thoughts on “The view from my office

    • Thanks Deborah. The plot has further thickened today, with a new potential post coming on the scene. I feel like my head is going to explode, and yesterday’s tension headache is firmly back.
      But hey-ho, I’m sure all will be well in the end… 🙂

      • Good luck sorting through everything! I just got a curveball myself yesterday … it will be a challenge, but I am holding on to what I wrote in my comment yesterday: there is room for change if I find whatever choice I make now is unsustainable! Of course, I sure as heck want to make the right one straight out the gate. There’s too much coordination making a big change one time around, let alone doing it twice!

        • I reckon you’re the voice of reason Deborah: there’s always room for change, nothing is irreversible apart from death… So this should take s bit of the pressure off the choices we’re both facing. I wish you luck in tackling whatever challenge has been thrown your way. To me, you sound like you could take on anything, I truly admire the strength of your spirit! Xx

  1. Feeling a bit scared is a good thing! It’s also natural. And you seem to be sorting out your life in a good way which is brilliant. Well done you. Keep doing what you’re doing xxx

    • Dear Caroline, I’m certainly trying to follow in your footstep (and ok, I can hear you say there’s no such thing as “trying” from here) regarding sorting my life out.
      And it all feels new and scary at times. But overall, I feel more at peace, content than before.
      Lovely to see you enjoying your new life. xxx

  2. Ah! The luxury (and complexity) of choice!
    I wish you well with your decision.
    PS. I have had a few weeks away from blogging. Who is Mr Xmas?
    Last post I read, I thought you were sad after losing Mr Nice.

    • Hey Elizabeth, good to hear from you! Mmm, things are complex, and not just on the job front…: As it happens, almost immediately after splitting up from Mr Nice, I errr… Litterally fell into Mr Xmas’ waiting arms. Not textbook what you should do after a separation behaviour, but nonetheless, 5 months on, I guess I’m still grieving for my relationship with Mr Nice, but less and less, and I am still feeling good with Mr Xmas. Life is weird sometimes… Hope you’re well and that your blogging break was a nice one ? Xx

  3. My goodness. I’ve come late to the party ( sorry ) but my head was beginning to spin as I tried to way up all the advantages and disadvantages of the choices facing you. All, I can say is, I suspect you will make a better choice than I would, and I wish you the very best of luck with it all. I look forward to hearing what happens 🙂

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