Firstly, why did I ever think that cycling into work in a blizzard may even remotely be a good idea?
Secondly, night is falling now. And the roads will be even more slippery than this morning.
Thirdly, only a week left to go. In a week, this will no longer be the view from my office, because I will no longer be working here.
Just to add to the stress of wrapping-up a zillion projects before I leave, I have to take BIG job decisions. And frankly, I don’t like big decisions. They feel daunting, and definitive, and I would rather stick sharp things under my nails than decide.
Ok, so the reason decision time has come is because even though I have signed up for a terribly-paid but interesting fixed-term post somewhere, I am now being offered a slightly-better-paid but less interesting permanent position somewhere else. And that’s really just the executive summary of the problem, because there are many more ramifications such as being able to work part-time, how much time off I can get to fit around the kids, development perspectives, the fact that if I go in one less-interesting direction, I will be closing the door on future, more interesting ones, and the all important issue of how good the canteen is.
So, hey, I know I am lucky to even have the luxury of choosing between two (well, actually it’s three, but the third one was a no-brainer) jobs, but guess what: I am scared. There’s been a lot of change in my life over the last five years, and I feel like hiding under the duvet pretending all this latest job changing lark isn’t really happening.
I know that I will eventually get over it, but right now, my eyes are watering, and I can feel a headache coming on.
At home, Mr Xmas, who has picked up the kids, showered my youngest and cooked dinner will be there, all deep-voiced and calm.
Think I’ll just catch the tram and bus home tonight…
Buena Vista Social Club – Dos Gardenias