To be confirmed

I sit still and listen to the rain fall. I had almost forgotten its sounds: The tap-tapping on skylights, the swoosh of passing cars, and birds’ muted chirping.

After a scorching and full-on visit, it feels as though Summer has suddenly departed – no time for good-byes.

My Summer actually felt both insanely short, and lavishly long, busy and quiet, intense and relaxing, joyful and tinged with melancholy.

I dipped my toes in the Neckar river in Heidelberg with a colleague (and a glass of chilled Condrieu wine, if you please),  in every fountain of Madrid with a dear friend, in the silky waters of the Mediterranean near Montpellier, and in the Orbieu river, near Lagrasse in France, where tiny fish pecked at my legs – a bit like in of those trendy mani-pedi places, only less spooky.

I built elaborate sand-castles, grilled marshmallows – and subsequently found sticky gunk in my daughter’s hair for about three days, made sauce with my very own garden’s tomatoes (yes, huhuhu, how remarkably domestic goddessey of me…), beat my son racing down water slides – he was gutted, I’m just heavier, don’t tell him, and tried to explain the concept of shadows to my daughter.

I also sat in the shade of a very old tree to read the very new book everyone’s talking about on a guy who is meant to be fifty shades of grey (to be honest, so is my old, shapeless, underwear, and no-one raves about it), but hello, all it really was, was a cross between a totally worn Mills and Boon intrigue and a very, very long Cosmo article. I read The immortal life of Henrietta Lacks, which was good, although uncovering all sorts of complicated questions about ethics and American history doesn’t make it your average beach-read – and it was quite a shock to my brain after fifty shades of old underwear.

Anyway, most precious of all, this Summer gave me time.

Time away from the frantic, and quite frankly absurd race that is the everyday life of every working single-mother (ok, granted, of every working mother full stop to an extent, but still, trust me, I’ve tried both sides of the coin and know which one I prefer), with the added bonus that I rarely ever get a break from being a mother at all.

This Summer gave me time to do nothing at all, and to do things for myself. It gave me the head-space I needed to truly enjoy my children, to be more than an empty, dark circle-eyed and shouty shell.

Finally, this Summer gave me some pretty serious clues that some pretty seriously good news is in the making: I think that T and the new Ms have become old news. To be confirmed…

Alabama shakes – Hold on


7 thoughts on “To be confirmed

  1. I’ve miss you & your fAaabulous writing. You awaken all of the senses.

    L O V E L Y.

    Thrilled you had a relaxing summer w/ 50 Shades. HaaaaaHaa.

    I am not even downloading the 3rd book.!.
    .I am now reading Poisonwood Bible, which is like going from medriocrity into Paradise!

    Glad to see you, dear 🙂

    • Kim!! Great to hear from you, my bloggy break has been nice but I guess I have missed hearing about you too. Looking forward to catching up with your news…
      On the book front, if you like the Poisonwood bible, you should also like The laguna and The immortal life of Henrietta Lacks 🙂

  2. I laughed out loud at your fifty shades of underwear comparison 😀 I don’t feel inclined at all to read it so I’m relieved you didn’t enjoy it 😉 and love your fab description of it! Glad you are back and blogging. I figured you had your hands full with schools out and glad you had a fun time. Lots of love xxxx

    • Thank you Meredith, I’m glad things are also looking rosier your way… And did I get a whiff of some romance craftily hidden inside your Summer summary 😉 ?
      Great news all round x

      • Yes, yes–romance! But I don’t think I’ll be blogging about it. I *should* be, because lord knows I have some major relationship/trust/allaroundgenerallyweird issues with men and love after the past few years, and it’d be helpful to work those things out in writing. But he sometimes reads my blog. And his friends sometimes read my blog. And there’s the whole respect and privacy thing, you know. So …

        • Haw…, I can totally imagine your issues, how can you trust someone when the previous person you did trust turned around and stabbed you ? I do not have the answers I’m afraid, but guess that trusting yourself in your choice of partner, and talking things through with him could go a long way.
          As to blogging to get some feedback, perhaps guest blogging somewhere where you can have a bit more privacy, or on another forum ? (you’re welcome to guest blog here of course) So many of us struggle through or have struggled through the same problems…
          Still, I cannot help smiling as I read your words : I am excited for you ! You deserve a great man to be by your side. What does your instinct tell you about him ? 🙂 x

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