Morning

I look up at the mountains in the glorious morning light. The air is fresh from recent snowfalls, but pastures have been sprinkled with tiny primroses, wild pansies and crocuses.

I feel safe enough to remember.

Not long ago, I was still wretched, torn apart by unanswered questions, self-doubt and heartache. At times, the pain engulfed and ravaged me.

It sat in a permanent knot in the pit of my stomach, and circled my eyes with a hollow greyness. My future had been ripped apart. An all-consuming anxiety pervaded my life, and anger was never far.

I haven’t miraculously forgotten. At times, a tightness reminds me that the scars are there, profound and unmistakable. The new version of me still feels somewhat fragile and unsteady.

But for now, as I stretch out towards the sun, and feel its blinding warmth on my eyelids, I listen inside of me, and all is silent.

Spring is here, and my heart is quietly blooming.

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19 thoughts on “Morning

    • Thank you OneFrenchWord, and yes, there is something about Spring which just pushes you to live on…
      I am cautiously looking forward to even better days to come πŸ˜‰

    • Very wise Tat2dmomma, I’m not entirely sure about what I want my life to be like, but I do know what I do not want, and that’s a powerful start!
      Thank you for the kind wishes & hope happiness wings over your way xx

  1. Bathe in that beautiful light. You are making incredible progress. The scars, although real, will fade. There may be the longing for the wholeness that you had…and that is now just a part of you. You have become a shining example of moving toward acceptance and growth.
    Peace to you Lady E

    • E,

      LFBA (and others) have it. Look at 2012 and recognize it’s everything we hoped. Whether it’s perfection or not, it’s put some important between it and the past.

      By the way, my new beau also has a good knowledge of flowers. When you or says something like “tiny primroses, wild pansies and crocuses”, all I hear is something like “tiny primary prose, wild panties, and croaky throats”. Unfortunately, I know very little about flowers and I often look blank when she asks me what I think of the (some flower name growing all over my back yard) in my back yard.

    • Tahnk you dear! And you are right, it is a kind of renaissance. Almost as if I had momentarily forgotten who I was, the happy me, and it’s good to feel myself again…
      πŸ™‚

    • Thank you Pat. The photo is actually a bouquet my son gave me…Bless him! The blossoms in my heart are from the other boy in my life. Glad to see you’re also enjoying Spring xx

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