…Caroline, for her suggestion of “Laughing Cow in France” as my new blog title… Yup, I know, almost as exciting as the Golden Globe nominations! Will she now grace us with a tearful, or at least emotion-choked speech?
Thank you all for the suggestions, they gave me food for thought and made me chuckle…
Ok, so let me clarify a couple of things : a- I have no intention of turning red or sporting ridiculous earrings, b- I don’t even have any particular affinity towards bovines, but hey, Poor Cow pretty much accidentally became the start of this blog, and so the cow will remain. c- I have every intention of laughing. A lot. Preferably to giggle idiotically at Mr Nice’s jokes.
Yes, yes, things are still developing, very slowly but nicely (hence his uninventive moniker) with Mr Nice… Even though opening up is making me
hysterical with fear ahem, feel insanely vulnerable.
History has taught us both some tough lessons, and I hope we can avoid the traps we fell into in previous relationships, while not hurtling ourselves straight into the ones we hadn’t previously tried, just for a laugh. Whilst we have kept to intimacy standards, which would please queen Victoria, we have started getting into deep and difficult conversations.
I like that he resists me, and pushes back when I give easy answers such as “T left because he’d met someone else”. The sad truth is we both know that The New Ms T was the catalyst, but not the reason why T left…
I eventually had to admit that T left for a variety of reasons, almost certainly, and uncomfortably including the belief that he could no longer make me happy.
He left because I punished him (I didn’t make him sit on the naughty step- though this may have been more effective), by withdrawing my affection and expressing my disappointment in him every time he (probably mostly unintentionally) hurt me.
He left because I didn’t give him what he needed. Though I was keen to do so, he was incapable of expressing his needs, so I was left guessing and evidently guessed wrong (What do you mean, he didn’t need me to moan about my day, and tell him for the umpteenth time to put his dirty laundry in the effing basket?).
He also left because he was a weak man, who needed me to be strong and then accused me of treating him like a child, who blamed our relationship for his unhappiness rather than tackling the personal problems, which have been weighing him down his entire life. And this is clearly where my responsibility towards our relationship ends (phew).
JLS – Innocence (Sorry, I know JLS again! Blame it on my son who will not allow any other music in the house)