It is eleven o’clock at night, snowing, and I have just cycled home. I am terminally c-c-c-c-c-cold.
This morning, in my standard 7:05 half-asleep state, I dithered on whether to wear thermal underpants or not, and opted for not. Granted, it did save 10 seconds on my morning schedule, which is not something to be spat at, but now my legs are probably going to turn black and fall off…
For crying out loud, this city is surrounded by iced-up mountains towering around 3500 m (that’s well over 11,000 ft), and the weather forecast mentioned snow later in the day, so why did I ever think this might be a good idea, uh?…
Anyway, this brings me nicely onto today’s subject, which is regret, as in regretting not wearing thermal underpants, regretting that second bottle of wine (or wozzeeeet anuver maxi vodka sh-shhhhot?), taking that job, not telling someone you loved them before it was too late… You get the picture, we all have regrets, big and small, and this is what this clever lady says about it:
So, what did you think?… I have recently discovered TED talks: They feed pretty cool science and technology stuff to my nerdy-scientist’s mind, and I started delving into the non-science stuff too.
Now, while I do find the talks and the idea of making them available in this format interesting, I also find many of them a tad over-American (Read: with a tendency to over-simplify complex things to the point that you get the picture in 2D instead of 3, and to needlessly pull at emotional strings, as if life was one gigantic Oprah show).
Ok, don’t get upset if you are American, I love Americans really (mwah-mwah), you have lots of cool stuff for you, and most importantly, a much better looking president than us. What’s more, us Europeans smoke too much and cannot agree on anything, not even on what should be called chocolate or a plan to save our currency (both outrageous, really).
Ok, erm, digression over: What I got from the talk it is that regret is a universal part of life. And that if we want to know joy, love and happiness, we cannot spare ourselves regret, pain and grief. There essentially seems to be a kind of balance in what we feel, reflected in the depth of both the pain and the joy we are able to experience.
So as the silent snow and my empty house are deafening reminders of all I have lost in a year, as the searing pain blinds me, makes me scream at the walls and regret ever meeting T, I have to cling on to that thought, and the fantastically deep joys that lay ahead.
My current anthem, Leona Lewis – Hurt. If you are hurting right now, my advice is that you turn the volume up…