My baby

After a two-hour nap, I sit outside in the sunshine, sipping on some wine, listening to my daughter’s joyous shrieks. Her brother is seeing his dad (Useless Boyfriend) and we are staying with some friends in England.

I cannot remember the last time I felt this relaxed, happy, or hungry – probably not this side of 2011…

My daughter and I used to be together most of the time, until she turned 13 months and our worlds got turned upside down. Then I got too busy sinking, she started spending every other weekend at her dad’s in January, and I started work in March.

I had not realised how much I had felt robbed of my baby.

I watch her babble and reverse a tricycle in a very skilled spot of parallel parking.  She has changed so much in the last six months, and we have a lot of catching-up to do.

The Pixies – Ana


5 thoughts on “My baby

  1. Missing a part of their lives under these circumstances is the most maddening thing, All we can do is try to make the time together as magnificent as it can be. The kids will remember in you most, the joy you have being with them. Knowing that you want to be with them, even if it is just sitting, going for a walk, reading a book…it doesn’t matter. Your time spent enjoying their company is the greatest gift…for all of you.

  2. First, make sure you drink from the drink container on the right and give the little one !

    Second, you’re there for her almost every night and morning. She remembers you most of all, from birth to babbling. As she gows some more and learns exponentially over these next couple of years, you will be her rock. You have her and she’s not going anywhere. You are setting up new stability in your life and you have years of fun to look forward to!

    • I hope I can be a rock for her in the future…recently, I feel like I have been more of a sinking ship to be honest. There are better moments, but the struggle to keep afloat is rather overwhelming a lot of the time.
      Anyway, I am trying my best, and even if my best isn’t always great, I defy anyone in my shoes to do better…

  3. Hey there, I have to say that this missing out on my daughter’s life is becoming a big strain, now that things are becoming slightly more permanent… I really resent it. That and not being able to give her times when she can be with both her parents.
    But the worst bit is the unbalance created between her and her brother who is no longer part of the custody agreement with T. It’s never easy, is it?

  4. I forgot to say … based on the skills with parallel parking, when she’s a few years older (say, 6 or 7), she could get a job in Texas teaching people there how to parallel park.

    I remember having to take my driver test there in 1997. It was this:
    1. Drive around the block
    2. Parallel park in a space long enough for 2 or 3 cars
    3. Ignore the weeping Texans who had failed part 2 of the test…

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