Outside, the trees bristle and I smell rain. There must be a thunderstorm somewhere in the mountains, but for now the city is baking in the late afternoon heat.
I had to scrape at the very bottom of my reserves of strength to make it through the last few days at work, but at last I am on holiday. This morning, less than a week after first viewing it, I exchanged on a house, and signed a cheque for an amount that made me feel queasy.
Inside, I feel torn between the past and the future. Part of me wants to sit somewhere quiet, away from life and noise, to make sense of the whirlwind of the last couple of years. And part of me is ready to turn the page, and look forward to the future.
At last I know I can be happy and love again. Yet the next poor sod to love me may have to weather my inner contradictions (or run for the door), as I am torn between a deep-seated desire to commit (mostly to admire a massive diamond on my ring-finger, let’s face it), and a fear of getting into anything serious.
Razorlight – Wire to wire
“You’ve been looking for someone you can trust to love you, again and again…”