No more question marks: I was right in part 1…
This weekend, I danced in silence with a thousand people wearing headphones, tree branches in my face, and stars above my head. Ooh, and I also bought a house and practically died of anger poisonning.
First things first:
Things have been very tense with T, and after an argument he had the front to tell my son that he loved him but would not be able to see him anymore because of me. Just in case you had any doubts, I am normally quite a vocal person, but this actually left me speechless.
Then T announced his intention to introduce the New Ms T to the children. As I was quite reticent, wanted to meet her first, and he didn’t want me to, I asked him if he was sure things were serious with her, how long they had been together: 4 months, how long they had known each other for: 18 months, and what she did for a living: Intern in surgery.
So there, bingo, my gut feeling was scarily accurate: This man, who for all intents and purposes was my husband, the father of my daughter and step-father of my son destroyed his family because he got a crush on some music enthusiast. It would actually be funny if it weren’t so painfully sad.
T obviously has a sense of humour though, because he pretended to laugh when I confronted him, saying I just could not accept that he left me because he could not live with me. This is when I just blew a gasket. I yelled at him in front of the children that he was a shit and could he disappear from my life.
I feel terrible for yelling and insulting him in front of the kids, but there was nothing I could do at the time: I don’t think I’d ever felt such rage before. Not only did he break our family for someone whose morals I would also have to question, he never had the guts to tell me the truth in the six months that I kept banging my head on a wall, asking him what happened.
In the background of all this turmoil, and after some discussion, my offer on the town-house got accepted, and we are due to exchange on Thursday. Even though this is also a momentous event in its own way, it has barely registered in my shell-shocked brain.
I am exhausted and emotionally drained, but finally knowing what happened is an immense relief…
Yeah, yeah, I know, classic, but it’s got to be done: Get your dancing shoes everyone!
Gloria Gaynor – I will survive: