Lightbulb moment (part 3)

No more question marks: I was right in part 1

This weekend, I danced in silence with a thousand people wearing headphones, tree branches in my face, and stars above my head. Ooh,  and I also bought a house and practically died of anger poisonning.

First things first:

Things have been very tense with T, and after an argument he had the front to tell my son that he loved him but would not be able to see him anymore because of me. Just in case you had any doubts, I am normally quite a vocal person, but this actually left me speechless.

Then T announced his intention to introduce the New Ms T to the children. As I was quite reticent, wanted to meet her first, and he didn’t want me to, I asked him if he was sure things were serious with her, how long they had been together: 4 months, how long they had known each other for: 18 months, and what she did for a living: Intern in surgery.

So there, bingo, my gut feeling was scarily accurate: This man, who for all intents and purposes was my husband, the father of my daughter and step-father of my son destroyed his family because he got a crush on some music enthusiast. It would actually be funny if it weren’t so painfully sad.

T obviously has a sense of humour though, because he pretended to laugh when I confronted him, saying I just could not accept that he left me because he could not live with me. This is  when I just blew a gasket. I yelled at him in front of the children that he was a shit and could he disappear from my life.

I feel terrible for yelling and  insulting him in front of the kids, but there was nothing I could do at the time: I don’t think I’d ever felt such rage before. Not only did he break our family for someone whose morals I would also have to question, he never had the guts to tell me the truth in the six months that I kept banging my head on a wall, asking him what happened.

In the background of all this turmoil, and after some discussion, my offer on the town-house got accepted, and we are due to exchange on Thursday. Even though this is also a momentous event in its own way, it has barely registered in my shell-shocked brain.

I am exhausted and emotionally drained, but finally knowing what happened is an immense relief…

Yeah, yeah, I know, classic, but it’s got to be done: Get your dancing shoes everyone!

Gloria Gaynor – I will survive:


11 thoughts on “Lightbulb moment (part 3)

  1. Just read this after coming off the phone from you – your voice tells a much happier story so don’t let these bare facts get in the way of your vocal optimism. So looking forward to catching up xx

  2. My friend long time ago told me: men don’t leave marriages unless there is another woman.
    What he told to your son just proves that he is, and forigve me for judging your husband that I don’t even know, a fucked twat.
    I would not agree for my children to see his fling. And I would be very adamant about it.
    You must feel terrible now so I’m sending you some virtual hugs and strength over the Channel. x

    • Unfortunately, nothing I can do about my baby girl seeing her mum replaced by the New Ms T by her dad’s side. She’s not a very interesting person if she thinks it’s ok to fall for a family man giving her the “My wife doesn’t understand me” spiel. Let’s hope she’s got higher morals when it comes to looking after someone else’s baby.
      Did you get my email reply?

      • Can’t you just forbid him from introducing another woman to YOUR child’s life?

        I got your email, the one where you told me where you will be staying, and I replied to that, asking you to let me know what days/times would be good for you to meet. But I haven’t received any reply to that. Did you get this email or maybe it got lost somewhere in the esphere..?

  3. Chocolate, wine, hiding under bed – Friday! I’ll leave the rest of my furious mutterings to your imagination!!

  4. I heard the same basic words. “You just can’t realize that I just don’t want to be married to you” (of course only after the other guy was in the picture again). Amazingly, 8 months prior to her telling me that she wanted a trial separation, she had written an essay about almost losing the love of the best man she had ever known (me)… but that the love was rekindled and growing from the garbage where is was thrown away.
    A few days ago she told someone that being married to me was a living hell and that I never listened to her.
    I thought…hmmm…I listened to all the lies I guess.

    So…just so you know. It’s the same F’ing story. Whether they are male or female. They change their version of history to justify their actions. They say the same words. Do the same things. Tell the same lies. I think there must be a manual for it.

    I’m sorry for you. Let’s just all anticipate the big grin we’ll have when the duplicity partners find that the grass is not always greener and self destruct.
    Peace to you.

    • Yep, I think it’s a natural process. No one likes to feel guilty, so the name of the game here is to find external justifications for their actions that resulted in hurting others.
      I am plain tired of it all. I am not interested in this guy anymore.
      Though I am not indifferent enough yet that I don’t wish to see him and the New Ms T go up in flames ;). Even that will pass once I am truly happy again I guess.
      Take care

  5. Pingback: 7×7 « Poor cow in France

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