I love everything about Summer: The light, the heat, the fact it takes 10 seconds flat to get dressed in the morning… The last few days have been glorious, the mountains trembling in a haze of heat, the sky a flawless dark blue, and a gentle breeze making the 34-35°C temperatures just right for napping under a tree.
In spite of this, I have been feeling down again, my thoughts annoyingly scratching away at my latest wound: Only 3 km across town, under the same radiant morning sky, someone is waking up in his arms every morning, and it isn’t me.
A year ago, we’d gone out to celebrate the Fête de la musique (By the way, if you ever plan to visit France, here’s a mental note for you: 21st of June each year, one of France’s best traditions), as a family, and had a good time but had to go home early to put the children to bed. We’d planned to get a baby-sitter this year and have a fab night out together. We did not get a chance to do this, or much of the going-out, going away and any of the nice times that reinforce a relationship. He must have gone to the Fête de la musique with The New Ms T instead…
Now, I know full well that a) thinking along those lines will not achieve anything except hurting me, b) the way he has treated me means I am probably better off without T, but I cannot help it, I feel so tired and down-trodden, so overwhelmed with the task of getting through the never-ending cycle of things-to-do-today, that I don’t have the strength to prise my brain away from the scratch.
What I really need is a) A holiday, preferably 6 months long and involving somewhere very, very far away, strictly no chores and round-the-clock childcare on tap, b) My very own lethally attractive Rebound Guy to take me out and worship the ground I walk on.
In all simplicity, I think this should suffice…
Today’s song was suggested by my lovely friend Sonia, whose heart was once broken in Spanish. Cool video, thank you!