England

Things feel gentler here than in France. The mostly flat land undulating, the infinite variations of green, punctuated with wild flowers, the dull sunlight, and pale blue sky, a textbook worth of clouds, even the cab driver’s easy chitchat…

I have been in England for the last four days, and things feel both familiar, and distant. I have only been gone two years, it has been two years already. Two years gone in a blink, filled with joys and pains so intense, I am left gasping for air, shocked and dizzy.

These last couple of weeks, I had been feeling particularly frazzled and exhausted, and coming here for a work-related course gave me a chance to physically get away from the grief of the last 6 months, and the crushing daily routine. Most importantly, I got a chance to stay with and see two dear friends, who picked me up from where I had fallen, and gave me some rare moments of closeness, balance, and what really tasted like happiness (or was that the white wine?).

I walk past clumps of uniformed children going to school, toddlers eating crisps in their buggies, everyone in shorts and tank tops while I shiver in the morning chill in my jeans, jumper and coat. I feel ready to go home.

To Sandra and Gemma, two amazing women. Thank you.

Placebo – Every you, every me

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3 thoughts on “England

  1. What a beautiful post.

    Hoping your return home is a peaceful transition and that this time has helped you with all you must do.
    Breathe in, and know that you are breathing in.
    Breathe out, and know that you are breathing out.
    Follow the breath. Find your points of center.

    Two years is nothing and everything. So slow when going through it all, but gone in the blink from the historical point of view.

    To a virus…two years is millions of generations, mutations, DNA retrofits. To the universe, two years is not even a blink.

    It’s all perspective. You’ll get through it

    Peace be with you.
    LFBA

    • Thanks LFBA, yes, these moments feel good. It reassures me that I am still able to have brief moments of calm and enjoyment.
      How have you been keeping?

      • Like you, I have moments of peace and calm. I am still often overwhelmed by the loss of being whole as a family. And although to the universe, that is a very small thing, to me it is huge. It’s all in the perspective. 😉
        But this is my new reality and I must find a way to embrace it. This is made most difficult as the snake is involved in my son’s life and I don’t want that values system influencing him.
        If you have not been over to my blog in a while, the last one is a poll for the few readers I have. I’d appreciate your take on it too.
        Be well.

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