I close my eyes and feel the caress of the sun through the train window. The wind outside is bending the cypresses and blowing people’s hair off. I am exhausted but strangely calm. I think I did blow a fuse in the end and someone young and wild I didn’t know existed in me got a chance to take over. In fact this has been my wildest weekend ever, and I cannot believe I am the same person I was a couple of days ago. To think that I spent all my life being scared, nice and reasonable… I have let go and it feels liberating.

And before you ask, nope, details of the wild weekend are most definitely unmentionable on a public blog that may get read by my parents!

Superbus – Travel the world


5 thoughts on “Sunday

  1. E,

    In the friends I know who have gone through a separation or divorce, there seems to be a natural sequence.

    Maybe there are some similarities with the grieving process of denial, anger, grief, etc. I haven’t researched it, although I may put it on my To Do list. It would be helpful to know what I might feel next, provided I don’t create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Letting go and looking forward rather than back has to be a turning point. In people I know, it is often marked by a feeling of freedom, expressed in myriad ways. Perhaps you’re passing through from one phase to another and you’re one step closer to coming ‘back to life’? If so, congratulations!

  2. I can only hope you’re right…From my still brief experience though, the process isn’t linear at all, and I’m not sure I can look forward yet, still too painful. What I am managing right now is living in the present only, and that certainly is an improvement. You’ll get there too, good luck with it all.

  3. You’re absolutely right; it’s not linear at all. If we could normalize it, we might get no further than two steps forward and one step back.

    But, look how far you’ve come already. Could you have this last weekend back in January? Probably not. The path is unclear, but the trend seems positive.

    You’ll get there eventually, and faster than me — I’m still months behind you!

  4. Pingback: Landing « Poor cow in France

  5. Pingback: My very own mid-life crisis « Laughing cow in France

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