The sun is in my eyes, I am heading across the orchards of Provence, down to the Mediterranean before going West along the coast. My personal low-petrol gauge has been urgently flashing all week, and suddenly turned an angry red today: I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks, my daughter is teething again. My children are a mess, but I have nothing left to give, I am running on empty.

I feel helpless, overwhelmed, suffocated. I feel a desperate urge to escape.

My son still does not want to see T, and T is too confused to tell him the one thing he needs to hear, that he would really like to see him. I helplessly watch these two people who love each other break yet another relationship that needn’t be broken.

I must go, or I will blow a fuse. And so I head West towards to setting sun, feeling reckless and alive.

This post is for Nathalie without whom this weekend wouldn’t have been possible. Thank you so much.

Naïve new beaters – Can’t choose


5 thoughts on “Friday

  1. E,

    Sounds like you *really* needed to get away, so it was smart to do that.

    When each of my girls were young, they went through phases of teething or illnesses that left me thinking that just one night of good sleep would make it so much easier to cope.

    Doing it alone is harder, doing it with the background stresses makes you Superwoman to have got this far.

    Hang in there.

    I’ve found myself in the eye of the storm and am sending some emotional reserves across the Atlantic.

  2. Thanks!
    I really, really needed the break, but somehow 48h isn’t enough, I’m finding it hard to put my shackles back on. I can feel a mid-life crisis coming on: Maybe I’ll end up getting a motorbike and travelling across America??
    Must catch up with your news…Hope you’re ok

    • E,

      Let me summarize:

      Visiting the USA … Good. Lots to see. Not everyone is a hick.
      Stopping by D.C. … Of course!

      However, riding a motorbike here…Are you crazy? American drivers are hopeless! You’ll last a few minutes at most! If my wife is having a midlife crisis and SHE goes for the bike-across-America solution, she won’t make it out of town.

      Overall, I’m OK. I am forecasting a week or more of smoother sailing before decision points are reached and new problems unfold.

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