The sun is in my eyes, I am heading across the orchards of Provence, down to the Mediterranean before going West along the coast. My personal low-petrol gauge has been urgently flashing all week, and suddenly turned an angry red today: I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks, my daughter is teething again. My children are a mess, but I have nothing left to give, I am running on empty.
I feel helpless, overwhelmed, suffocated. I feel a desperate urge to escape.
My son still does not want to see T, and T is too confused to tell him the one thing he needs to hear, that he would really like to see him. I helplessly watch these two people who love each other break yet another relationship that needn’t be broken.
I must go, or I will blow a fuse. And so I head West towards to setting sun, feeling reckless and alive.
This post is for Nathalie without whom this weekend wouldn’t have been possible. Thank you so much.